Hers is a gift that should not be wasted.

Course Syllabus

Do not go gentle into that good night: The truth about bedtime

Instructor: Nina Boulay, certified Pain-in-the-Ass.

 Course Objective: To learn the basic skills to deal with the horror and pain of bedtime.

**Advanced learners will also learn how to delay bedtime, sometimes even late enough to outlast your caregiver!

Unit 1 – Introduction: Do you know where your parents are? Watching TV, eating popcorn and playing with your toys, that’s where.

Unit 2Don’t wear pyjamas when you can wear a costume instead.

Unit 3Ensuring that your water is not too warm or too cold, and that the cup is the right colour.

Unit 4The grown-ups are lying – crying will get you everything.

Unit 5The threat of pee.

Unit 6Lullabies are tools for mind-control. Don’t be a victim.  

Unit 7 – What’s that sound?

Unit 8 – Books. Bet you can’t read them just once?

Unit 9 – You don’t need to know where you’re going in order to run away.

Required reading: Goodnight Moon, The Runaway Bunny, your mom’s Twitter account as she plays with her phone in bed.

Marking scheme: The instructor cannot write, so there will be no grades. Anyone who is able to outlast their caregiver will get M&Ms, if there are any left. Otherwise, Cheerios.


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