Reasons my kid thinks I’m lame

I won’t let her eat raw cookie dough
I won’t let her eat from the trash
I won’t let her drink from a puddle
I won’t let her climb a step stool wearing princess shoes
I won’t let her eat cookies until she pukes
I won’t let her eat a sticker
I won’t let her touch my eyeball
I won’t let her finish the half-eaten apple found in the sofa cushions
I won’t let her lick the cat
I won’t let her step on my broken toe
I won’t let her pee in the pool
I won’t let her drink my iced coffee
I won’t let her eat my spare change

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